How To Confront Sin>>>By Leslie Ludy

 

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Leslie Ludy: Hey, everyone! It’s Leslie Ludy, host of the Set Apart Girl Podcast: Biblical Encouragement for Women of All Ages! Today we’re going to talk about a really challenging issue: how to confront sin in someone else’s life. It’s probably one of the number one questions that I get asked from women who are seeking to live a set apart life. How do I speak truth into other people’s lives when I know they are not walking the way they should be? Maybe they’re a Christian, but they’re not really living it out; maybe they don’t even know Christ. How do I speak into their life when I see them headed down a dangerous path? Well, I want to share with you some things that I have learned about this in my own life.

Speak the Truth in Love and With Your Life

Leslie Ludy: When I first began to radically follow after Jesus and live a set apart life, I didn’t quite understand that I should first and foremost focus on my life that I was living and let that be the testimony, rather than just saying a lot of eloquent words and speeches to the people who were watching my life.

I remember one time a friend of mine casually, in passing, made a comment about why I wasn’t dating around and everybody else from our church was. I used that opportunity to get on a soap box and preach to her for probably about 45 minutes about why I believed dating around was wrong, that it was sinful, and here’s what it leads to, and all my convictions about it. Instead of humbly saying, “Well here’s why I live that way, and here’s what God has done in my life in that area.” I became this passionate preacher, got on a huge soap box, and preached fire and brimstone to those who were dating around. What I should have done instead was give a humble response, share my own story, and allow her to see the fruit of my life before I tried to give her a big, long, preachy sermon. I should have been praying for her consistently so that her heart would be prepared to receive what I was speaking into her life.

I think a lot of us tend to rush headlong into a situation like that with passion, and even anger, and try to become another person’s conscience, rather than working in cooperation with the Spirit of God as He opens their eyes to the Truth.

I love this statement from St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach Christ at all times, and if necessary, use words.” Those words of his really transformed my approach to confronting sin in other people’s lives because it helped me realize that my words were not my primary tool for communicating truth, my life was my primary tool.

Proverbs 17:27 says that a truly wise person uses few words. Now there is a time and a place for well-chosen words of truth. There’s even a time and a place for righteous indignation when it comes to defending the name of our King. But we have to remember that primarily it is not going to be angry, insistent words that are going to win others to Jesus. A compelling argument can never take the place of a consistent example. As I submitted this area of my life before God, He began to show me His pattern for communicating truth to my friends and family and how to speak truth into someone’s life who was living in sin in a way that would reflect His nature, His heart, and His love. He began to teach me how to preach Christ at all times, even without using words. So here’s some of the things that I learned as I began to seek Him in this area of my life.

Practical No. 1: Begin With Prayer

Leslie Ludy: First, is one that we sometimes don’t want to hear, but it is so important, and that is to start with prayer. We usually feel so strongly about something that we want to take matters into our own hands, rush into the situation, and use our brilliant debate skills to try to convince someone that they’re on the wrong path. But 1 John 5:14-16 says this: “Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him. If anyone sees his brother sinning a sin which does not lead to death, he will ask, and He will give him life…”

So here is a Scripture that is telling us what the first step is when we see someone sinning a sin that does not lead to death, we are to ask – meaning go to our God – and say, “Lord, I lay this person before you.” and to fight and wrestle on their behalf in the spiritual realm before we rush in with our words and try to change them in our own strength. When we see compromise in someone’s life, our first response should not be trying to convince them to change their ways. We should be asking in faith for that person to be delivered from sin and set upon the path of life. We are called to have confidence that God hears us, believing that He will – not might – bring victory into the other person’s life through our faithful and importunate praying.

Our human tendency is to want to rush in, use our debate skills, try to talk somebody into a different lifestyle, but true heart-change can only come from the Spirit of God. It’s not something that human willpower or human brilliance can ever accomplish. If we give into fleshly anger and frustration, we are only going to get in the way of God’s work in that person’s life. As it says in James 1:20, “The wrath of man does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” So when we come into a situation with anger, with our own fleshly pride, and we’re upset, we’re not going to produce in them, or in ourselves, the righteousness that God desires.

Prayer is a far more powerful weapon than human words will ever be! John 14:13-14 says: “Whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father might be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.” Now when we know that we need to be asking according to His will, but if we are fighting for the souls and the deliverance of those around us, we know that that is according to the will of God. That is what He does; that is why He came to this earth! So when we pray for souls around us, we are praying in cooperation with Him. Even the people in our lives that seem like the toughest nuts to crack are not above the power of prayer.

It says in Luke 1:37: “With God nothing [will be] impossible.” So I would encourage you, even if you have people in your life that seem that they are not responding to truth and it has been years and years and years, and you think they’re never going to change – don’t give up!

Amy Carmichael, in her book, If, said, “If in dealing with one who does not respond, I weary of the strain and slip from under the burden, then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Jesus did not give up in His fight for us, and we are not to give up in our fight for those around us.

Eric has an incredible story about his sister praying for him for many years of his life when he was not really living Christianity out. He had professed to be a Christian, but His life was very much selfish in its focus. She faithfully and consistently prayed for him for years, even when it seemed like he would never change. And when he was in college, God got a hold of his life in a radical way, and the first person that he called was his sister. She was in tears because [after] so many years of faithful praying, she was finally seeing the fruit of it.

Practical No. 2: Live It Out

Leslie Ludy: The second practical here when you see sin in someone’s life, and you want to know how to make a difference is to live it out. So start with prayer, and then secondly, live it out.

In 1 Timothy 4:12, Paul says, “Set an example for the believers in speech, in love, in life, in faith and in purity” (NIV). If our lives are going to make an impact on others, they can’t just hear our words spoken. They can’t just hear us talk about our convictions; they need to see our convictions lived out. In my own life, I’ve discovered that when I live a faithful, consistent example of the things that I believe, people actually seek me out and invite me to share my convictions with them. I don’t have to force truth on them, they see something in my life that makes them want to know more.

Many times I’ve told the story of those two young women in China who were kicked out of their homes for their faith traveling around the country sharing the Gospel, and many times they didn’t even have to seek opportunities to share their faith. People actually noticed the radiant glow on their faces and asked them, “What do you have inside of you? Whatever it is I want it!”

That should be the example of every set apart young woman! So set the stage for your words by backing them up with your life. If you do, you’ll never have to force truth on people. They will come to you wanting to know more, and they’ll look to your life to prove that what you speak is true.

1 Peter 3:15-16 sums it up very well when he says, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give a reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience. So that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander” (NIV). When you live righteously before God even in the face of reviling and people not really understanding your life, they become ashamed of how they’ve been treating you.

So make it your goal and your prayer to shine the light of Jesus Christ everywhere you go, and let your words be an outflow of the Spirit within you. Follow in the steps of Jesus who said, “The words that I say to you I do not speak of My own initiative, but the Father abiding in Me, He does His works.”

Many times people will observe the consistency of your life and actually come to you with questions about sin, about God, about right and wrong, which can open amazing doors for you to share Truth with them.

Practical No. 3: Adopt a Humble Mindset

Leslie Ludy: The third practical I want to share with you is to have the right attitude. When the door does open, and you can speak into someone’s life; you’ve been praying for them, they’ve seen a faithful, consistent example from you. Maybe they’ve even come to you and asked for your advice or your opinion on a certain area of their life – if you have the right attitude and communicate truth, it makes all the difference in the world. We talked earlier about the Scripture from 1 Peter 3 where it says to speak about the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.

“Meekness” means a “mildness of disposition, a gentleness of spirit,” and “fear” means “reverence in fear of God” which is the opposite of pride and arrogance. So often we have this spiritual pride, and no one is going to respond to the truth. When we have spiritual pride and we’re arrogant about it, we stand in the way of them responding to the Spirit of God drawing them to Himself. Many of us make the mistake of acting out truth or speaking the truth of Christ in a  very un-Christlike way. When we fall into this trap, it completely destroys our witness, and it only gives our non-believing friends and family members more reasons to disregard the Gospel. So I encourage you to ask God for the grace to not merely take a strong stand for truth but to do so with genuine humility and gentleness.

Resist that temptation to get upset and storm out of the room when you see people behaving in an ungodly way. Instead, ask God to show you how to be gracious, honorable, meek, and having that godly fear when you are withdrawing from an activity or speaking boldly the truth that they need to hear. If you speak in the attitude and the nature of Christ, it will make such a powerful statement to them; so much more powerful than lecturing, anger, and criticism. In fact, that approach will only bring unnecessary conflict to the situation. If you become the brunt of accusation for your stand for truth, make sure it’s for the right reasons and not just because of a bad attitude on your part.

Remember what it says in Proverbs 15:1, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” That is always a safe path to take is to give a soft answer. We always have to remember that there’s nothing that we have, or see, or know when it comes to spiritual things that we did not receive from above. 1 Corinthians 4:7 says that, “What do you have that you [did] not receive?” And Jesus says that on our own, we can do nothing. Without Him, we can do nothing! So we have to be humble as we share this uncompromising truth. Remembering that it is only by the grace of God that we are where we are at today.

Final Thoughts

Leslie Ludy: Some final thoughts that I want to share with you. If you have a burden for someone in your life, then remember what Oswald Chambers said, “God doesn’t give us discernment so that we may criticize, but so that we may intercede.” He’s given you this burden for a reason. Not so that you can take matters into your own hands and find an excuse or an outlet for your anger or your pride, but so that you can faithfully pray for that person, consistently love them, and speak words of truth when the door opens in the nature, meekness, and attitude of Jesus Christ.

You are not the one who can bring about change in anyone’s life – only God can do that. So I encourage you to work in cooperation with His Spirit and discover the amazing joy of seeing a soul awaken and respond to His life-changing Truth.

I hope you’ve enjoyed today’s episode.